Striving To Be Average

   It was worth every penny of whatever I spent, to travel thousands of miles to hear someone remark that one of the best pieces of advice they'd ever received was, "Strive to be average."  Incidentally, the advice was not unsolicited, as I believe the axiom that unsolicited advice is usually interpreted as criticism.
 
   Today I will strive to be average.  Not because I exclusively need to ascend or descend to average, but because, as my son, then 11 years old, once told someone who asked him to describe his dad, said, "My dad is like the fan switch in your car.  There may be five positions, but the only ones my dad uses are "off" and "high."

   I have to identify and accept the truth about myself, whatever that turns out to be.   I don't have to like what I see, I only have to accept it. The truth is, I travel back and forth, mentally and emotionally, between the extremes of grandiosity and self-loathing, rarely, if ever, pausing at the place of rest called average.  For me, average will be the highway to humility, the subject of my next blog.

 
 

I'm NOT Going to Teach You a Lesson

"It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about “justifiable” anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly angry with self righteous folk? For us... these are dangerous exceptions.  We have found that justified anger ought to be left to
those better qualified to handle it."

Anonymous, "12 Steps and 12 Traditions" (emphasis added)

   I'm angry about rising taxes today.  I want to start my own tax revolt.  I want to start a revolution, storm the political palaces, demand immediate reform and threaten violence... and then I remember...

"When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant
evaporates on the spot. One unkind tirade or one willful snap judgment can ruin our relation with another person for a whole day, or maybe a whole year. Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism and furious, power-driven argument. The same goes for sulking or silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. Our first job is to sidestep the traps. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think." 

Anonymous, "12 Steps and 12 Traditions" 

   The need to sit on my hands and keep my mouth shut arises much more often than I'd like.  In fact, I don't like it at all.  I'd prefer to never practice restraint, and that's at least part of the reason I need to do just that.

   I have no lessons today to teach anyone, but I have a lot to learn.  I've got a lot of growing up to do, in part because I've chosen to avoid the things that might have helped me grow up in the past.  Things like hard work, pain, and yes, patience, tolerance, and kindness.

Don't Kid Yourself

I'm still here.

You're not following me, I'm following you.  I'm out here in cyberspace and I'm watching.  That's how I learn lessons from the fire.  That's how I evolve.

By the way, in my humble and amateur opinion, "evolution" is not a dirty word.  Nor is "sex."  I think those two things are somehow tied together, but I'm still thinking about that.

Brought to you by the guy who thought computers were a fad, sorta like hula hoops and Nehru collars and those little plastic yellow signs that dangled from the rear window of cars and read "Baby on Board."  Oh.  Okay.  I didn't know you had a baby, so now that I know, I'll completely change my driving habits...

On an unrelated note and several thousand years ago, a bunch of bipeds formed societies and decided killing someone else, anyone else, for any reason, is a bad idea.  Oh, some of the societies dabbled in it "for the good of the society," but most of them eventually dropped it completely.  Just seemed hard to justify... saying "don't do this" and then doing it.  Yes, I'm talking about capital punishment.  It's stupid.  Let's quit doing it.  I don't care if it's Vlad the Impaler, Adolf Hitler, or Bernie Madoff.  You don't kill sick people, and these are/were sick people.  Keep them away from everyone else and get on with being kind, patient, and tolerant.

Peace on earth, good will toward men.  Sounds better when Linus says it in the Charlie Brown Christmas movie.  But I still like it.